The institution lawn. It's daytime and sunny out. All of DR. CONROY's PATIENTS are there, standing around, saying their goodbyes to F. M., who is now ready to leave. Everyone is looking slightly glum--save F. M..
F. M. It was really nice getting to know all you guys. Especially you, Hector.
HECTOR (Beaming happily) Thank you, F. M.. And if you're ever in any need, feel free to call me. (Leaning towards him and whispering in his ear) I have connections, you know.
F. M. Thanks, Hector. I'll remember that. (Moves on to BILLY) Bye, Billy. It was great getting to know you.
BILLY Thanks, F. M.. (Whispering to him confidentially) Did Hector tell you about his "connections"?
F. M. Yes, he did.
BILLY Well don't believe him. He has connections all right but none of them are to the real world. (Stands back, smiling) Have a good time out there, F. M.! I'm feeling so good I just might let out a laugh today!
F. M. Billy, you live on the edge! (Moving on to EDWIN, JARVEY, DAVE, and COOKIE) Bye, guys. I want you to know that you're all very funny and great to chum around with. Keep it up.
COOKIE (Bursting out in tears and throwing her arms around his neck) Oh, Fiskie! I'm gonna miss you so much!
DAVE Things won't be the same without you, F. M..
JARVEY Yeah. If I could, I would turn my head and kiss you.
F. M. That's okay, Jarvey. You can kiss Dave instead, since he's on your right side.
DAVE (Backing away, shaking his head and putting out his hands) No thank you!
F. M. (Laughing) Don't worry, Dave, I don't think he's quite ready to do that either. It was good to meet you--even if you are a little weird. (Puts out his hand)
DAVE looks at the hand, frowning with anxiety; then he suddenly smiles and grasps it. The others look on with surprise.
DAVE It was great to know you too, F. M..
F. M. (To EDWIN) Bye, Edwin. Give Franz a vitamin pellet for me.
EDWIN (Smiling, holding out a potted plant) F. M., this is Josie. She'd like to go with you.
F. M. (Taking the plant, surprised) Why, Edwin, I--I don't know what to say. Thank you--thank you very much. But are you sure--?
EDWIN (Pooh-poohing him) It's not my decision, anyway. Josie wants to go out and see the world, and I thought what better person to take her than you?
F. M. (Smiling) Thank you, Edwin. I'll treasure it--her--always.
With that he moves down the line to LEONARD, who stands a little bit apart from the others, and shakes his hand.
F. M. Goodbye and Pez, Leonard. It was good getting to know you.
LEONARD (Smiling) Pez--Pez--(strained)--Good--bye--F. M.. Pez!
The others all gasp; they've never heard LEONARD utter anything but "Pez." F. M. only smiles and reaches into his back pocket.
F. M. Got something for you, Leonard. (Hands out a small object to LEONARD)
LEONARD (Gasping and receiving the gift) It's--it's--Pez! (Runs off, shouting joyfully, his brand-new Pez dispenser in hand; F. M. moves on to DR. CONROY, who is standing nearby, watching the proceedings; they shake hands)
DR. CONROY It was nice meeting you, F. M.. I hope things go well for you out there.
F. M. I hope so too, Dr. Conroy! With lots of luck, love, and lithium, though, I believe I can make it. (They laugh) But really, you're a great doctor, and you need a vacation.
DR. CONROY It shows that much, does it?
F. M. Yes, and more. Go back to Mackinac Island. Or go to a movie. I hear that Crazy People is in re-release. [Note--"Buy a Volvo! They're boxy but they're good!"]
DR. CONROY (Smiling) No thank you, F. M.. I get enough of that around here! But have a good one, and be careful out there.
F. M. I will, Dr. Conroy. Bye.
F. M. walks over to a bicycle parked at DCL and gets on, kicking up the stand, while the others all wave and yell goodbye. [Note--guess his friends were too cheap to give him a ride.] He waves and pushes off, wheels off into the road, L, all of a sudden laughing crazily. Several cars that were passing are forced to swerve to avoid hitting him and honk angrily as he goes on his merry way. DR. CONROY sighs and turns away from him, towards the audience, looking tired and resigned.
DR. CONROY He's a pro, all right--a pro who needs Prozac. [Note--well...lithium wouldn't have fit the pun!! Jeez.]
THE END
[Note--following in red pen, along with a yellow smiley "WOW" sticker, are Mr. Cady's notes.]
This play shows your talent as a writer. Witty, crisp, and well constructed. Thank you for all the hard work you put into this project.
300
A+
No comments:
Post a Comment