Osiris (Original Draft) Chapter 6

Chapter 6
Friends Forever For Never
[Note--in the original, the word "Forever" is crossed out with two lines like an X.]

They rushed out again to find only the silver box.

"Osiris is gone!" Thoth said.

"No I'm not!" a voice said from the box.

Khnum opened it. "Oh!" he said. "Hey, it's Osiris!"

"Did Set lock you in?" Hathor said.

"No. I could've gotten out any time I wanted. Set just put me in here to see how big the box was."

"Did you try to get out?" Bast asked.

Osiris shook his head.

"Then he locked you in!" Isis said. "Really, Osiris, there's something wrong with him." [Note--and the award for Understatement of the Year goes to...Isis! Yay!]

"No there is'nt [sic]," Osiris said. "He just wanted to see how long it was. He said he made a new way to measure, called 'Osirinches.'" [Note--STILL one of my favorite jokes ever. No matter how stupid.] He laughed. "That Set. But why don't you trust him?"

"One time he went into your bedroom--with a dagger!" Khnum said.

Osiris looked at them all. "For goodness [sic] sakes [sic]! Why don't you just turn on somebody else?" [Note--Osiris is still this stupid even in the newest version of this story. Why else do you think he ends up dead?] He walked into the temple, out of their sight.

"I think we hurt his feelings," Hathor said.

"But he won't listen to us!" Khnum said.

"Maybe Set is'nt [sic] too bad," Anubis said.

"Take his side!" Khnum exclaimed. "Boy, are you nuts!"

Everyone was quarreling so bitterly that they all took sides, as if they were two sides on a football team or a baseball team. Now the teams were called "Set's Side" and "Khnum's Side" because Set and Khnum were against each other all the way. In fact, Bastet and her cousin Sakhmet, who were now against each other, made a chart of the sides:

Set's Side
Set
Anubis
Horus
Osiris
Isis
Bastet
Nephthys

Khnum's Side
Khnum
Thoth
Sobek
Sakhmet
Hathor
Nehebka
Amon
[Note--in the original, these two "teams" are on a chart, laid out side by side and lined up in two columns of eight rows each (including the title row).]

This started a major break-up between them all which was just what Set wanted.

[Illustration: A scarab necklace. Text reads: "Scarab (scare'-uhb)--sacred Egyptian beetle."]