Jazzy Front

INTRODUCTION: Back around 1989-91 or so, I got the brilliant idea to write a story about pop singers and the "business." Given that almost all of my characters were named after then-popular, REAL famous people, and they sang those people's pop songs, and the story was supposedly set in ancient Egypt, and all the characters who were supposed to be REAL singers were now...dogs, it's probably a good thing that I didn't get very far. This story is humiliating to share. Unfortunately, it wasn't the only one! I present the existing text of Jazzy...and yes...I do mean DJ Jazzy Jeff, of Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince...Fresh Prince was another one of the characters...as was Martika...and Jazzy's and Fresh Prince's posse...and one of the characters was to be voiced by singer Karyn White...*grimaces from shame* This was to spawn a sequel story of sorts called The Story Of Richard Marx...yes...THAT Richard Marx! Also turned into an Egyptianized dog! I remember the cover illustration of that but I don't know if any text exists. Urggh. In any event...Jazzy was written in a journal I got in elementary school, I think, but I cut out the first pages that I had already used, and covered up the ugly pink hardcover with purple and yellow construction paper, upon which I put a rather detailed drawing of the entire cast. It looks like I intended this book for other purposes in the past, as inside the cover--and on the front, under the construction paper, now that I look at it--is written, "We HAVE! Written by Linda Hant. Illustrated by Rachel H. [last name omitted]." ??? No clue why I would pen a book supposedly by somebody else, nor what it was meant to be about. Aha! Now I've found it, scribbled (and then scratched out) on the BACK cover: "We Have! We have seen dinosaurs, tigers, bigfoots [sic], monsters, and ghost ships. We have also felt what it's like to be frightened." Okay, so...apparently I was going to collect a set of supernatural stories. Hm. ANOTHER little oddity is that the purple cover I used to cover that up was apparently recycled, too!--on the inside the spine says, "GOING HOME" (remember that?), and the blurb reads, "Life on the farm. With chickens, dogs, and geese. And an alien." All right, now let's put the book back together.

This story was meant to be a sort of "backstory" to The Secret Of The Pyramid, believe it or not. The three ghosts that Fredestaire meets in the tomb are...Jazzy, Fresh Prince, and Martika! They were to have met their premature deaths at the end of this very story but I never got that far, thank God! Guess how they died!--SLEDDING DOWN A HILL AND RUNNING INTO A TREE!! ??!! I have NO clue where I come up with this junk...well, okay, THAT part was inspired by my old friend Mya and myself having fun on a field trip to the rec center's big sawdust pile in winter, during which my sled ran into a tree, but, the rest of it, honestly, no clue! I do remember though that the character "Calliope" was to be nicknamed "Miss C.," and was going to seem like the bad guy throughout most of the story but would eventually become a good guy.

That's a long intro for a very short text. I tentatively date this from around 1989-91, though I would guess that late '89-'90 would be the best bet, considering the quality of the cover illustration.

Front, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Back

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JAZZY

Soon to become a major motion picture!
[Note--I shouldn't have to explain that I often imagined such things. I still do, in fact. Shut up!]

[Cover illustration: The cast of nine lead characters, who are named inside the book. Back row: "Reddy Roxene" has short dark fur and looks kind of pitbullish; "James J. L. Lacider" is a husky-type dog with longer fur, light colored with darker areas on his paws, ruff, back, ears, and around his eyes; "Kaliope" [sic], the only character in profile, has dark short fur, long black hair, and wears a tight black dress which emphasizes her figure; "Charles," the only character in full attire, has short dark fur, shades, and is wearing a suit and tie--he looks humorless, like a bodyguard. Front row: "Omar Money," who has slightly longer fur and looks older than the others, with lines under his eyes and a kind of shaggy muzzle; "D. J. Jazzy Jeff," who has light, slightly longer fur; "Fresh Prince," who is white with black spots and has slightly longer fur; "Martika," who has darker (brown), slightly longer fur, except for a white ruff and muzzle, and is holding one hand up as if walking like an Egyptian; and "Charlie Mack," who has light, slightly longer fur (although one ear seems to be darker), a tattoo on his arm, and a fang jutting out of his lower jaw; he has a mean grin. Note a tendency which shows up here just as in my most recent version of The Trench Rats--some characters are practically naked, and it's fine, and others must be fully clothed or else it's nudity! Calliope and Martika are both female, e. g., but only Calliope needs to be fully clothed; Martika doesn't even have breasts. Every single one of them is wearing a bowl-shaped Egyptian crown. Drawing done in pencil on yellow construction paper.]

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[Inside cover text:]

On the cover--The Fresh Prince and his possé, and Caliope [sic]. [Note--I should point out now that I'm not sure how Calliope's name was meant to be spelled. You can see I misspelled it with a K (hopefully before I decided to nickname her "Miss C.," else it makes no sense!), but corrected myself; however, I left only one L, when there should be two. I'll be marking this as an incorrect spelling although I honestly can't be sure. As you'll read below I'm pretty sure I spelled most of the posse's names wrong, but that was how I intended to spell them (based on my ignorance).]

Top row--left to right--Reddy Roxene, James J. L. Lacider, Kaliope [sic], Charles
Bottom row--left to right--Omar Money, D. J. Jazzy Jeff, Fresh Prince, Martika, Charlie Mack [Note: I'm almost positive I got several of these names wrong. I lifted the names of Fresh Prince's posse from a song on one of his albums, and likely misheard some of the names. "Reddy Roxene," I'm willing to bet, is probably more along the lines of "Reddy Rock C" or some such. "James J. L. Lacider" is probably "James 'JL' Lassiter." I misspelled the name of my own character, Calliope, twice, forgetting to correct it the second time (and possibly both times--see note above). "Omar Money" may be right, but I have no clue. The only one aside from the obvious that I'm pretty sure I got right is "Charlie Mack," and that only because his name was in a song title!]

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Jazzy

by Rachel H. [last name omitted]