Saturday, July 7, 2018

Howwwll!

INTRODUCTION: A little filler story I wrote to include in the Nightmare On Manitou Island notebook. Scribbled in blue ballpoint pen, it is a VERY quickly thrown-together story; the writing is bad, and the little drawings are awful in quality. It looks like I tossed it off in two minutes. Needless to say, something unusual for me to do. Date uncertain, but likely from around 1989-91, the same as the rest of the contents.




Howwwll!


"What are the ingredients for cake?" Akhenaton asked Squeely.

"Let's see," Squeely said. "Eggs, milk, flour, sugar, and frosting."

"Eggs," Akhenaton said.

"Check," Squeely said, breaking some eggs and throwing them into the bowl.

"King Kuts will really love this cake," Akhenaton said. He was making it for King Kuts because he had broken his Cheshire vase. The vase was as good as new now, but King Kuts was still mad.

"Flour," Akhenaton said.

"Check."

"Sugar."

"Check."

"Milk."

"None."

"Hmm," Akhenaton said. "No cream, so I suppose water is the closest. Go get me some water."

"Check." Squeely did'nt [sic] use King Kuts' faucet, because there was something wrong with it. So, he went to the ocean and got a bucket of water.

Little did he know that a big ship that had been passing through had dumped out a lot of waste poison. The poison had spread all over.

Now Squeely was back with Akhenaton.

"Water," he said, pouring it in. Akhenaton stirred it all, put it in a pan, baked it, put the frosting on, and presented it to King Kuts."

"Here," Akhenaton said. "I'm sorry about the vase."

"Thanks, Ak!" King Kuts said. "This looks good!"

"Try some," Akhenaton said.

King Kuts ate a small piece. "Mmm!" he said. "Tastes different. Must be a secret recipe." [Note--there's an apostrophe in "Tastes"--"Taste's"--scribbled out.]

"Well, I gotta go," Akhenaton said. "Bye!"

"Bye, and thanks!" King Kuts said again.

[Illustration: King Kuts happily accepting a cake from Akhenaton, upon whose head Squeely the rat is perched.]

That night, Purrsha tried to break into King Kuts' pyramid again. She'd heard about how much gold he had, and she was eager to get her paws on it. It was easy to see because it was a full moon. She climbed into his upstairs window.

The poison that had been in King Kuts' cake began to take effect. King Kuts grew bigger and furrier--he was a werewolf! Hearing Purrsha upstairs, he went up.

"Raaawolll!" King Kuts growled. Purrsha shrieked and jumped out the window. It was a good thing cats could land on their feet!

Everyone heard the noise. Zoser and Akhenaton had to catch King Kuts and keep him until daybreak when he returned to normal.

Everybody found out about the cake. It could've been what had turned King Kuts into a werewolf. Then Akhenaton told them about the water.

"Well, let me try this cake," Zoser said, taking a piece. He ate it.

"But the moon's not shining," Nefertiti said.

"This potion ought to do it," Zoser said. "It's called 'Moonbeam.'" [Note--the second part of "Moonbeam" is scribbled out and replaced with the current word. I believe it probably formerly said "Moonshine."] He drank it and immediately turned into a werewolf!

[Illustration: King Zoser, as an anthropomorphic werewolf, grinning and climbing out of a window; startled onlookers stand in the background.]

So they had to catch Zoser. 'Moonbeam' did'nt [sic] last too long, and Zoser agreed that it was the cake that had done it.

"Well, how do we take the effects off of King Kuts?" Benji asked.

"I've got a cure," Zoser said. "It's called 'Sunbeam'."

Zoser gave the potion to King Kuts and he drank it.

Cheops had'nt [sic] been at Zoser's when this had happened, so he did'nt [sic] know about the werewolf.

One day Cheops was thirsty. His water pump was'nt [sic] working too good, so he went to the ocean. The Sphinx, who had heard about the cake, followed.

Cheops bent over to get some water.

"Don't!" the Sphinx said.

"I can if I want!" Cheops said.

"No!" the Sphinx roared, stamping his huge paws and creating tidal waves bigger than China and reaching all the way to Hawaii. "No no no no no!" He picked up Cheops and shook him.

"Okay! I wo'nt [sic]!" Cheops gasped.

After that, Cheops learned about the water. Soon it was cleaned and everybody's water pumps and faucets were fixed.

And people in Hawaii wore diving suits.

The End

No comments:

Post a Comment