Rats!!
Several weeks later, Gold and Red silently crawled the ventilation shaft to Woofwoof Hitler's headquarters. [Note--"crawled" should probably be followed by "down."] Peering through the grating, they saw Woofwoof sitting at his desk, Inspector Dobermann standing beside him, and two Nazis standing at attention.
"You two are ze best soldiers ve have," Hitler said. "Zat's vy ve're setting you up to catch zose nasty leetle Trench Rats!"
"Stalker and Deserta?" Red whispered. "Ha, they'll never lay a hand on us!" [Note--the Nazi characters Nightstalker and Deserta have also been dropped from the story, in favor of more believable characters such as Ratdog. Weird, I forgot about them until now. Deserta had some mannerisms in common with a junior high science teacher of mine, Mr. Scott.]
"Y'know, I think they're scared," Gold whispered, stifling a laugh.
"But, sir, isn't it true that no one has ever been able to capture a Trench Rat and keep it?" Stalker asked.
"Ich bien doof!" Hitler hissed. [Note--I was mistakenly informed that this means "You are stupid." Correct the minor misspelling ("bin"), and what it actually means is, "I am stupid"!! Oops!!] "You are so stupid! Of course no vun has ever kept a Trench Rat. Zat's vy I'm sending you!"
"Good reason, good reason," the two Nazis replied, nodding hastily.
"Goot," Hitler said, simmering down. "Now, go get me a dirty Trench Rat!"
Gold and Red burst into laughter, careful to keep quiet.
"I can't believe those guys!" Gold gasped. "That doof Hitler keeps sendin' out his 'two best soldiers' who never catch a thing!"
"He's a Nazi. He'll never give up," Red laughed.
"Watch this." Gold took a cherry bomb and threw it out. It landed on Hitler's desk.
"Sir..." Inspector Dobermann said in a strained voice.
"Leave me alone."
"But, sir--"
"Shut up!"
"Ja, sir." Dobermann bolted for the door. [Note--the goofy, bumbling nature of Inspector Dobermann in this story has since vanished; in the current series, he's much more malevolent, and not very humorous at all. Although unwritten aside from a prologue, Inspector Dobermann To The Core is a good example of the transition from comedic to serious character.]
Suddenly, Hitler's desk seemed to explode. After the smoke faded away, the two Trench rats started laughing all over again.
The desk was a shambles. A hole had been blown right in the middle, and Hitler had ink all over his face.
Gold folded a note into an airplane and threw it out.
Hitler caught the note and unfolded it.
"Sorry about your desk, Adoof Hitler! Hope it--and those documents--are replaceable!" it said. It was signed, "The Trench Rats."
"Oooooooo!" Hitler said, crumpling up the note. "Zose--dirty--TRENCH RATS!!"
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