The Most Confusing Story

INTRODUCTION: I am most proud of this literary and philosophical achievement from my (presumably) elementary school days. Be proud with me. I also wrote it entirely in dialect!

Written in pencil on lined paper. Likely from the late Eighties.

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The most Confusing Story

"Hi." "Hi." "So, whaterya doin' tommorrow [sic]?" "There's no such thang as tommorry [sic]." "Whatcha mean?" "Well, w'never tommorry [sic] comes 'ere it's today, not tommorry [sic]. So there's no such thang." "Then there's no such thang as today, either." "Whatcha mean?" "Well, if tommorrow's [sic] today, an' there's no such thang as tommorrow [sic], then there's no today." "Yer right there, partner." "So there's no yesterday because yesterday is--I mean was today, and today's tommorrow [sic], an' there's no such thang as tommorrow [sic]!" "Yer right agin' [sic]." "See ya tommorrow [sic]?" "Nope. How 'bout in a few days?" "Yer on." "Bye." "Bye."

[Illustration: Two farmers, both in straw hats and chewing on pieces of wheat, one holding a rake and the other leaning on a fence which stands between them.]