THE DAY STARTED off unusually warm, but this was a Cheboygan summer, after all. It had rained recently so the weather was hot and humid, or 'muggy'. Damien, the wirehaired pointing griffon, had gone outside and was fanning himself and drinking lemonade. The kids were over at Princess's house, so he didn't have to babysit. Looking at his watch, he wondered how long it would be until Chernobyl Cat, or 'Choby', as they called him, would be back. He had left early that morning for an important meeting at the Shriners' temple, Al Ambalahalah. [Note--the full name of Al Ambalahalah is...Al Ambalahalahwallawallabingbang...or some such.]
"What do they do there, anyway?" Damien asked himself out loud. "Watch naked women dance?" He laughed to himself silently and watched an ambulance pull into the driveway. It made rusty putting sounds as it stopped. Damien stood up, for the ambulance had a Shriners Hospital [sic] emblem on the side.
Chernobyl jumped out and ran into the house. Damien went over to the putting ambulance, leaned inside, and saw another Shriner waiting anxiously.
"What's the matter?" Damien asked.
The Shriner turned to face him. "We're going to be recieving [sic] some Masons today for their ceremonial entrance to the Shriners. Tokky--he's the Grand Pooh-Bah, you know--is in a heck of a mood so we have to hurry back. Choby needs to get a book of ceremonies. If we don't get back soon, Tokky'll skin us alive."
Damien looked around. "Glad I'm not a Shriner."
"You could be one."
"No thanks! But I have a question. Could I perhaps tag along for a bit? To help with decorations or something?"
"Well, okay, but stay away from the ceremonial books. You'll have to leave before the ceremony."
"Don't worry." Damien got in and so did Chernobyl, who drove them to the temple.
When they got there, Damien was overwhelmed at the sight of so many Masons, Shriners, and lodge members. The Bass, Leopard, Antelope, and other lodges were there. In the midst of it all was a cat shouting orders. He had a gold tassel instead of a black one and the emblem on his fez was all gold instead of different colors.
Damien tapped him on the shoulder. "I've come to help with the decorations."
Tokky glanced at him disinterestedly and scanned him critically, then turned away and said, "Whatever strikes your fancy." [Note--loved my adverbs back then, didn't I.]
"He is in a tiff," Damien whispered to Chernobyl.
"Ha! Just try calling him 'bub' or something!" Chernobyl exclaimed.
"I wouldn't dare!"
"Watch." Choby walked straight up to Tokky and said loudly, "Hiya, bub!"
Tokky whirled around and glared at him. "Do not, under any conditions, call me bub!" [Note--shades of Edmond (Edmond & Fredestaire) hating being called a "mutt," and Fredestaire (ditto) hating being called "Freddy," and Charmian (Manitou Island) hating being called "little girl"...]
Choby snickered and strutted back to Dami [sic], while Tokky stormed off and started yelling at Bass Lodge 790.
"I do it all the time," he said. "I'm even the one who invented the name Tokky."
"What's his real name?"
"To tell you the truth, I don't remember. [Note--later on I supposed it was supposed to be Tanneke or something, but that's likely a girl's name so I haven't any idea, I guess!] That was about two years ago when I first joined the Masons. I think it might have been some foreign or weird name, though. He's from Holland."
"Where's his accent?"
"Gone. He's lived in America for a long time."
"So he's Dutch," Dami [sic] said.
"Tokky VanTok [sic]," Choby said, and started laughing. "If he was Scottish, 'McTok'." He laughed again. "A restaurant, 'McTokkalds'. Russian, 'Tokski' or 'Tokva'." By now he was laughing up a storm, along with several other Shriners nearby, who had heard the whole thing. Tokky was glaring at them broodingly. He suddenly said,
"Want me to tapdance in clogs all over your head, or jam tulips up your nose, or perhaps saw off your tail with a windmill?"
Choby and the others stopped and looked up. Tokky had picked a tulip and was waving it threateningly, and he was spinning the tip of his tail around and tapping his foot.
"No, sir," Chernobyl said meekly, which astounded Damien.
"Then stop giving a history of foreign names. I'm satisfied with just plain Tokky, not Tokky Van Tok, and I'm sure your friend has heard enough." He smiled weakly and apologetically at Damien, then left.
Chernobyl picked up the tulip, sniffed it and said with a grin, "Maybe I should call him 'Flower Boy'."
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