[Untitled]
THOUGH SATURDAY MORNING the Olympiad was officially to start, the LRU students threw a wild party that fall Friday night. [Note--I'm putting this note before what prompts it seeing as I don't want to interrupt my next note. I really don't think you get detentions at college.] The dean, Dave Holloway, hated the whole idea of it, and despite his frequent blaring, interruptive threats of detentions and suspensions over the P. A. system the whole college population went cockahoop and even carried their festivities, which would have put the ancient Dionysian revelries to shame, on into the university building itself. [Note--DAMN IT I was frigging WORDY back then!! Who the hell uses words like cockahoop?? It's not even in my e-dictionary...] Of course the members of the Student Assistance Committee agreed to help clean up if, or rather when, necessary.
It was a strange thrill for the students to run about the college halls at night, up the stairs and through the courtyard, and all over. [Note--not that college students would be into such things, but I know I would be. Compare to Chapter 6 of Akhenaton & Nefertiti.] When Dean Holloway complained, Mr. Demo lamely gave as an excuse for their reckless behavior some primitive psychological need to run free, left over from caveman days, embedded deep within their minds. "That's all it is," he said. "It should be gratified soon enough, when the weekend is over."
"You call that soon enough?" Dean Holloway snorted. "If they damage any school property before then I'll have something embedded deep within their minds, and believe me, it won't be a psychological need!" [Note--probably the only truly witty comment throughout this entire work.]
At the stroke of midnight, most of the students gathered in the courtyard, or around it in the hallways, leaning out of the opened windows. Ozzy had gotten over his mopiness [sic], having been named the Olympiad's Master of Ceremonies (if that could be the correct term), and was now standing atop the fountain, waiting for silence. He had been crowned with an ivy Christmas wreath (holiday items go on sale quite early in Michigan), his cape was a flower-patterned shower curtain, and his scepter was a pogo stick. His face was painted in bizarre patterns with Halloween makeup, making him seem slightly like some voodoo practitioner. In all his appearance was amazingly ludicrous, and many could not help but to laugh. By the time everyone was settled down about twenty minutes had passed.
"LRUers," he addressed them in monotone, "are you ready?"
There was a whoop from the crowd.
"I take that as YES?" Ozzy boomed, glaring about him. "With your permission we will begin."
"You tell 'em, Oswald!" someone in the back shouted.
Ozzy glared fiercely in turn at the heckler, who shrank back and disappeared inside the building. Then he resumed.
"I call forth our one-in-a-million Milesian, Ritzie Load O' Blarney O'Brien!" Ozzy turned to the side and spread out his arms, and Ritzie climbed up to join him. The crowd howled and hooted.
"AS I'm certain you know," Ozzy went on, stressing the "as" so much that several jumped, "Mr. O'Brien--let us call him Potato--has forrmmmed a new team which he calls the SHAMrocks, which already has its own little population of MEMberrssss--"
"Speech defect?" Ritzie whispered.
"It's a wonderful thing I invented called melodrama," Ozzy whispered back. "So we have more COMpetition this year, so why are we wasting our time--"
"Listening to a guy whose makeup puts Tammy Faye Bakker to shame?" Damien called. "Heck, you tell me." [Note--now THAT'S the Damien I know!]
Ozzy chose to ignore him. "--standing around like idiots?" he finished.
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