Road Of Sorrows
CHARMIAN SUCKED IN a breath, staring at the winding, sinuous path before her.
"The...the Spirit Road!"
She blinked a few times, rather unable to believe whether this was truly it or not. She frowned and looked from one side of it to the other, then furrowed her brow.
"This is the Spirit Road?"
Well, what was I expecting, I-75?
The Road she stood upon was barely anything more than a trail, albeit a well-groomed one. It was a dirt trail, sandy looking, and seemed as if it would be fit only for walking or bicycling, if it were on Mackinac Island. It took her a moment or two to realize that there was absolutely nothing off to its sides aside from a hazy greenish-grayish...nothing...though for some reason, that seemed appropriate. The longer she stared at this haziness the odder it struck her, and she frowned in puzzlement.
There's...nothing around it! How come it took me so long to even notice that...?
She took a tentative step forward, then stopped. "Hello?" she called, and her voice didn't echo. She bit her lip and waited; then, when nothing happened, shrugged and took a few more steps forward, taking off her mitts and stuffing them in her pocket. She halted just long enough to remove her snowshoes as well, since they seemed rather unnecessary in this place, then continued on her way.
Well, I may as well get a look at it!
She started walking along the Road, glancing from left to right and still seeing nothing but the greenish-grayish haziness. Once in a while she thought she caught a glimpse of something more distinct in the haze, but she couldn't be sure. She wandered to the right as she walked and at last looked skyward, or at least, where the sky would normally be. The greenish-grayish haze was the same up there, too. It was as if she were looking at a forest through really bad glasses.
"This isn't so bad," she murmured. "I figured there'd be a few monsters, or volcanoes, or something..."
Her foot stepped upon the very edge of the Road and she started to put her weight onto it, only for it to slip and go off the side. Any other time she would have stumbled and regained her balance--except there was nothing to regain her balance on. Her foot went out from under her as her support disappeared, and she let out a gasp and fell straight from the Road, plunging over its side.
Charmian managed to grab hold of the Road before she could fall off of it completely, and her fingers dug into the soil, which fortunately was not as slippery as she would have thought it would be. She ground her teeth and cringed as she hung suspended over yet more nothing, and couldn't help but peer down. Nothing but more greenish-gray, but she could have sworn that she heard the sound of a river, far below, rushing and roaring angrily. Her face went white and she started scrabbling to pull herself back up to the Road.
When she at last put her leg over the surface of the path, she rolled over onto her back and lay there chattering and gasping for breath. Once she'd regained her senses she pushed herself back over and peered over the side of the Road but again saw nothing. She felt a twinge of irritation prickle inside her.
They said ROAD, not DEATH-TRAP!
"That's right," she said to herself, remembering. "I have to talk to it." She bit her lip and looked down at the pebbly sandy soil. "How do I do that, exactly...?"
She turned in a small circle, tapping her feet against the gravel and thinking. "Hello, Road?" she said a few times, yet that achieved no result. "Road? Street? Autobahn?" She tried getting on hands and knees and pressing her ear to it, but of course there was nothing to hear. She chewed on her lip and sat back on one knee.
"Wish Laughing Lynx would've been a little more forthcoming," she sighed, and raked her fingers through the gravel. She gasped and yanked her hand back when she felt what seemed to be an electric prickle in her fingertips, and frowned, looking more closely. The pebbles looked the same as any other pebbles.
Did the Road just shock me...? Why would it do something like... She lifted her hand and looked at her fingernails and noticed the dust beneath them, and her frown grew.
I scratched it? Is that why?
"Don't tell me it has FEELINGS!" she exclaimed, standing up but keeping a close eye on it nonetheless. "Like a road can feel things--? That kind of goes against everything I ever learned in science class!"
DUH! Remember, talking wolves and people turning into bears and fireballs kind of goes against everything I ever learned in science class, too!
Her mouth twitched. Curious, she scuffed her foot against the Road, then kicked at it. She yelped when a small jolt passed through her foot, and lifted it to rub the soreness away.
Reacts to pain, she thought. So, a Road that can feel and react to things. Well, they did say it was like the Island.
She paused again and chewed on the inside of her mouth. "Does that mean it's a smart Road...?" She almost shook this thought off as silly, yet forced herself not to. Stranger things had happened, after all. She took a breath and let it out and shut her eyes, trying to settle herself.
A smart Road. They TOLD me to talk to it like it's human.
And what am I doing here...? I'm kicking it, and talking to it like it's...a road!
Charmian sighed. She opened her eyes and looked down at the Road.
"Hey, Road," she said; then made a face and shook her head. She took another breath and let it out, then coughed. "Um...Spirit Road? That's what they call you, right?" She felt utterly stupid but had to shove the feeling down. "Sorry if I'm getting it wrong...anyway...I'm supposed to be here talking to you, but I'm not quite sure how. I mean, I've never really talked to a road before, because, you know, where I come from, at least, roads don't really talk. Or listen." She paused. "So...any advice you can give me would be great."
She stopped talking and waited. Even after a few moments had passed, nothing had happened.
Charmian stared at the Road in growing frustration. After another moment of silence her eyes grew, then she hastily dug in her pocket.
"Um, sorry!" she exclaimed, pulling out the little pouch that Laughing Lynx had given her. "I keep forgetting about this. Where I come from, people my age aren't supposed to carry this stuff, you know. Carcinogens...and everything."
She sprinkled some tobacco over the Road, spanning from side to side, then dusted her fingers and tied the pouch shut. She put it back in her pocket and waited for a moment or two, then got down on hands and knees and pressed her ear to the soil again.
"Hello?" she asked. "Road...?"
Cripes...when I get home I am NEVER going to live this down...
She waited a bit more, then sighed. She turned her head so her forehead was pressed to the ground instead, and made a face.
"Nobody ever taught me how to talk to a road," she mumbled. "Fight demons, fend off giant cannibals, travel through rainbows, do weird things to people's spirit stones, yeah, but never talking to roads. You'd think everything else would be weird enough to prepare me for this, right...?"
She opened her eyes and blinked when a faint but odd feeling passed through her. She felt...almost like laughing at her own comment. Her brow furrowed. She'd never been one to laugh at her own jokes, especially when she wasn't really meaning to make one. Yet the feeling was there anyway. The more puzzled she grew about it, the more her earlier frustration and irritation began to fade, and she slowly sat up, still staring at the gravel.
"Hello...?" Perplexity settled upon her face. She pressed her hands to the ground. "You think that was funny...? I've got a million of them. Did you ever hear the one about the kid who stepped on the grape and it let out a little wine?"
Nothing. Well, at least she'd tried.
Her face twitched. "Hey, I think it's funny!" she groused. "Okay--then, did you hear what the man said when he walked into the bar? 'Ouch!'"
Nothing.
Charmian rolled her eyes. "Cripes, a Road with no sense of humor. Now I know how Glooskap feels half the time!"
Immediately, something surged up in her chest and she started giggling uncontrollably. She had to clap her hands to her mouth to try to hold it back. Even as she tried to keep herself from shaking it struck her.
THAT'S how it communicates! It doesn't talk--it FEELS!
"It's empathic," she said after she'd managed to stop herself from laughing, wiping her eyes. She looked at the sandy soil and ran her fingers along it. "Okay then...all I have to do is ask the right thing, and you'll tell me what you know--I just have to feel it! No wonder I was so pissed off--I was KICKING you and everything!" She winced. "Sorry about that, by the way."
She felt a bit calmer, which she assumed must be forgiveness, so she shifted to her other knee to get more comfortable and placed her hand against the Road.
"Okay," she said. "I just wanted to come and ask you a question. Since you're the...Road...everybody takes after they die. They told me you know the direction everyone went in. I'm looking for someone in particular. I checked in the Spirit Land, but he wasn't there. He's not in the living world, so maybe you know where he went." She paused, but didn't sense anything, and so went on. "His name's Chakenapok. Do you have any idea where he is? Where I can find him?"
Pause. She felt nothing from the Road at first, but when she concentrated harder, she thought she felt a slight question being aimed at her. This puzzled her.
"Chakenapok," she said again, louder and more slowly. "You know...Chakenapok? Please don't tell me he didn't even COME this way!" Anxiety flared up inside her but all she felt in return was the same vague puzzlement. "You know! Creepy guy!" she exclaimed, and waved her free hand. "Flames tattooed on his face--?" She let out a frustrated sigh and sat down. "Maybe Noko was wrong and she DIDN'T really hit him in the head hard enough, after all! Because I can't imagine there'd be more than ONE yellow-eyed fanged guy coming down this way...!"
A jolt surged up through her hand and she sucked in a breath, trying to pull away, yet her fingers were stuck. She felt them grow hot, then cold; a second later she was shivering and chattering even more than she had upon the Island itself, and a sharp bite of fear surged inside her.
I'm--I'm afraid--?
Immediately the fear was joined by such an invasive, overwhelming sense of sadness that she almost couldn't bear it. She drew her free hand in toward herself, huddling and biting her lip to keep from crying out at the awful feeling; it surged over her in waves, threatening to make her start sobbing, it was so terrible. She struggled to make sense of how she was feeling even as she tried to fight it off.
I'm--I'm--lonely--?
I'm TERRIFIED! And--and furious--and--I just feel like crying! Why do I feel like this? What is it trying to tell me--?
"R-Road..." she just barely managed to force out, squeezing her eyes shut and grinding her teeth. "I d-don't unders-stand!"
The awful feelings began to wane, though they remained deep inside her, until she was left feeling listless and frustrated and depressed. She could at least lift her head now, and she sniffled and wiped at her wet eyes, still shaking. "I f-feel awful," she murmured, digging her fingers into the soil. "Why do I feel like this? What are you trying to tell me...?"
Her eyes went wide and she gasped.
Chakenapok--! The Road wouldn't answer me--because he was a baby when he died--
He didn't HAVE tattoos back then! But his head--and his eyes--the Road would've recognized THAT!
"Is that what you're saying...?" She frowned slightly. "You...you were afraid of him? He upset you...?"
The feeling she got back from the Road made her feel wrong, somehow, and her frown grew. She puzzled over this incongruity.
No...he didn't scare the Road...
He was scared...and angry...and...and lonely...?
And sad...?
"Chakenapok." Charmian forced out the name, and lifted her head, although it throbbed. "He's...he's afraid...and angry...and all alone..." Her brow furrowed in confusion. "But--but how does this help me? You know him, Road? This is how he felt when he came here--? Can you tell me where he went, where he is--? Where I can find him--? Where do I have to look--?"
That unbearable grief washed over her again and this time she fell over and curled in on herself. It was followed by an equally unbearable iciness, and she clutched her arms, trembling wildly despite her heavy clothes. "I'm f-f-freezing!" she cried, tears squeezing from her eyes.
But--that makes no sense! Chakenapok's always surrounded by fire, every time I see him! Why would he be freezing--?
As if this feeling were not bad enough--her vision of the Road, and the greenish-grayish nothingness surrounding it, then faded from view, until she was left in pitch blackness. Charmian's eyes went wide, yet she saw nothing. She began whimpering in terror--it was just like her time spent in total darkness on the Island, the last time she had come--only much worse, since that was the Island, and this was a place she hardly knew. "I c-can't see anything!" she cried, her voice cracking with fear. "Road--? Stop it! Just tell me wh-where to find him and I'll go!"
As soon as these words had left her mouth she opened it to take another breath--only to feel--nothing! Charmian's eyes goggled and her lungs hitched yet no air seemed to be entering them; they began to ache and burn, and she fought against the feeling, managing to suck in a ragged breath here and there. She had to struggle not to claw her own throat out.
I--I can't breathe--!!
Road! What are you doing to me--?!
Then--poof. It was as if her lungs were freed, for she began sucking in painful breaths in great gulps; she squinched her eyes shut as the light began to return, and her shaking began to die as the cold did, though her thoughts raced no less quickly.
I feel like I'm FREEZING! And--and suffocating--and TRAPPED! That's exactly what I feel--trapped!
What's going on--? What does this have to do with Chakena...
Her eyes slowly came open so she found herself staring toward the side of the Road. She blinked the remaining tears away, still drawing in great shaky breaths, her shoulders quaking.
Cold...and dark...and no air...
Underground caves...all over under the Island...
But...I feel so alone...why do I feel like this? Chakenapok was taken over by Malsum...Malsum wouldn't feel loneliness, or grief...why would he feel grief...? Who for and why...?
Her eyes grew even wider.
Not Malsum...Chakenapok! He is still in there! I SAW him!
Why would he feel so horrible--? What would make him feel so sad--?
Just like that, a beat passed through her mind, and she gasped at the realization. She immediately pushed herself upright, hastily wiping the tears away from her face.
"Road," she sniffled, rubbing her eyes dry. "Is this where I'll find him, then? I find this place, and he'll be there--?"
She sensed a slight caution from the Road, which she took to be uncertainty. Still, it was better than nothing. She pushed herself to her feet, still sniffling, but the awful feelings faded away at last and her head was clear.
"Thanks, Road," she said, and pulled out the pouch to toss more tobacco upon it. "You've really helped. More than a lot of other people."
She wasn't certain whether she would sense it or not, yet she felt the same calmness as before enter her up through her feet, and let out her breath. She turned back to the way she'd been coming and started walking again. Even though she wasn't certain how she'd get back from here, at least she'd gotten her answer.
I can't believe I never even thought of it, she thought, chewing her thumbnail as she briskly walked. The halfling spirits have it PART right! The last place you knew before you died--or right AFTER you died--they tried and failed to walk the Spirit Road. So they stay here and keep trying. But what about those who don't stay...?
I just hope I can get the right info and find out exactly where he is...otherwise I'll be here forever...
Her step began to slow and she paused to peer around herself uncertainly. She then shook her head and took in a breath--worrying would get her nowhere. She started to walk again, focusing only on the Road stretching in the opposite direction from before, and eventually, the low, distant note made its way into her head, and the greenish-grayish haze and the pale brown stripe of the Road began to fade and merge along into it...
Thomas's eyes slowly opened. He blinked a few times, then furrowed his brow to find that he was staring at his own knees, which by now were covered with snow. He stared at them for a moment more in puzzlement before his eyes went wide and he gasped, popping to his feet so abruptly that snow went flying every which way.
"Charmian--!" he exclaimed, then glanced around. He still sat beneath a tree in the woods, not too far from where he'd left her at Arch Rock; he continued looking around in great confusion.
I fell ASLEEP? How on Earth did I FALL ASLEEP--?
Anxiety lit through him--he was supposed to have been keeping his ears open for Charmian!--and he started wallowing his way up the slight incline toward Arch Rock. "Charmian?" he yelled, hoping she could hear, dreading that he would not find her there. "Charmian!" he called, and pushed his way out of the woods, stumbling and nearly tumbling down toward the edge of the bluff. Arch Rock's great opening yawned before him, and he could see Charmian's impossibly tiny figure high atop it--had she really had to go WAY up there?--alongside another figure, and Thomas didn't even think twice before making his way up toward the stone Arch as quickly as he could.
Wabasso lifted his head to look up at him as Thomas clambered up atop the rock, gasping for breath. He gave Thomas a quizzical look but all that Thomas could do for a moment was lean on his knees and pant heavily. He managed to lift his head to look at Charmian, and his eyes grew wide when he saw that she appeared to be unconscious, lying atop the rock with her hands folded over her chest. He dropped down beside her, careful not to topple over the edge, and looked into her face.
"Is she all right?" he exclaimed.
Wabasso nodded. "She is fine."
Thomas felt her forehead, but couldn't be sure if she were too warm or too cold. "She's so pale," he said anxiously, and checked the pulse at her neck. Her heart was still beating, though very slowly. He looked at Wabasso. "Is she sleeping--?"
He shook his head. "She is beyond sleeping," he said, which made Thomas frown in confusion. "She went to walk the Spirit Road." He held up his flute. "She wished for some help."
Thomas let out his breath at last. "Wabasso, is it--?" he asked, and Wabasso nodded. Thomas gestured at the flute. "You mean you used that thing to put her under...?"
Wabasso lifted the flute. "It makes humans go to sleep...so she decided..."
"Sleep?" Thomas echoed, so sharply that Wabasso looked back up at him. At that moment Charmian's head shifted to the side, then to the other side, as if she were looking around herself, and the two of them glanced down at her. She continued the motion for a moment before falling still, and Wabasso put the flute up to his mouth.
"I think she may be nearing the end...you might want to step back onto solid ground, before I use this..."
Thomas flushed but obeyed, retreating from the rock. He stood atop the bluff and watched on as Wabasso held up the flute and started to play, a long, low note drifting up through the chill air. Thomas's eyes started to drag themselves shut and he had to shake his head and lightly slap himself to try to keep awake; after a moment or two he was stamping his feet and biting his own tongue just to keep from falling over unconscious. Fortunately, just as his mind started to haze out he saw Charmian move, and Wabasso slowly let the note die away before lowering the flute; Thomas rubbed furiously at his drowsy eyes as Charmian carefully pushed herself upright, blinking and rubbing at her own. Thomas tried to keep himself from yawning as he climbed back up toward the Arch, Wabasso leaning toward Charmian to look her over as she slowly got to her feet; she swayed a bit before gaining her balance.
"Did it help any?" Wabasso asked.
Charmian had to blink a few more times before nodding, every motion slow as if she were not fully awake yet. Thomas took hold of her arm and carefully helped her down onto solid land, and only once they were there did she finally shake her head hard to clear it, then shook her arms and legs as well, and grimaced and rubbed at her neck.
"Charmian?" Thomas asked, looking her in the face. "Are you all right?"
"I...yeah. I think so." Charmian yawned. "I didn't fall asleep, did I--?"
Wabasso shook his head. "I do not think so...but did you see anything?"
Charmian paused to stare off into space for a moment before nodding again. The sleepiness faded from her face and her jaw set; the other two frowned slightly at the unusually serious look. They waited for her to speak, yet all she did was pull her arm free and turn to start walking toward the woods.
Thomas and Wabasso furrowed their brows, sharing a glance, then following, Wabasso having to clamber to his feet and off of the rock. By the time they caught up with her, Charmian was already entering the woods, walking as if with great purpose. Thomas had to jog just to keep pace.
"Charmian--?" he asked. "Well--? Did you reach the Road?"
Charmian nodded. "Unless that was all a dream, which I doubt...at least it seemed real, and it's not like any of the other dreams I've had so far."
"Did it tell you where to find Chakenapok?"
"Not in so many words, but it told me who to ask."
Wabasso came up on her other side, panting slightly. "There is someone who knows--?" he asked.
Charmian nodded, and her eyes darkened. "I have to have a talk with Nokomis."
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