Saturday, June 30, 2018

KK:Y2K2: The Experiment Begins!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: In 2002, I hit upon the fantastic idea to try to revamp/revitalize my goofy childhood King Kuts series. As weird as it sounds, I still think it's a fantastic idea. But I haven't the time to devote to it now, so only this one chapter was ever produced. It was called KK:Y2K2, seeing as it was started in that year.

I was surprised, on writing this, to find how much my entire writing outlook has changed. To summarize, I simply wouldn't be able anymore to write KK stories the way I used to, because I've become so cynical and jaded. As a result, instead of turning out goofily ridiculous and naive like its predecessors, KK:Y2K2 turned out rather snarky, tongue-in-cheek, and self-aware. My own characters ended up poking fun at both themselves and my own writing tendencies back in the old days and now. The fourth wall that separates reader and writer from characters and story, in effect, was shattered forever. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, it just means that should I ever start using these characters again, the result will be much different from what it used to be. I'm not twelve anymore, after all. Maybe now that another seven years have passed, it would be even more cynical today.

Here's hoping that someday I can do this old series the justice it deserves.

(Note--mild edits to the introduction to remove unnecessary links/references.)





KK:Y2K2: THE EXPERIMENT BEGINS!


Heya heya heya! Tehuti's trying her hand at it, finally! Yep, it's the long-awaited (nyuk-nyuk) newest King Kuts sequel! (For an idea of what on Earth I'm talking about, please see King Kuts: The Adventure Begins!)

I think it's been about twelve years since I last indulged in a KK story before abandoning the series to work on my D Is For Damien series--quite a long time, huh? My poor KK characters must be WALLOWING by now--that is, those who didn't work their way into D4D, which itself is currently foundering while I work on my Kemet stories and Manitou Island. (Cue an out-of-character string of expletives from Damien!) Recently I dug out all my old copies of these stories, though, and even with as TRULY dreadful as they are now, I remember having lots of fun while writing them. So much so that I'd like to try a new sequel in a new style. Yes, it'll still have the same goony characters and anachronistic plot developments. However, I hope it'll have more point than the original stories, which often took off fast but went straight to nowheresville!

Anyone who's read my other fiction, in particular my D4D series, may recognize some of the names in this story. Yes, those are the same characters--but please consider them mostly out-of-character here. This is meant to be a light story. The PG rating is only for some mild cursing, jokes, and violence. Hey, even my G-rated early stories had some blood in 'em! Witness poor Blackfoot in Akhenaton & Nefertiti--YIKES!

Anyway...since this is meant in fun, I'm also going to occasionally skewer myself or my other writings in this story. My characters usually do NOT have any awareness of me, but it looks as if the cat's out of the bag in this one. Hummm, herrrr. o_O Maybe I'd better change the locks, just in case...

At the moment I'm just starting this to see where it MIGHT go. This is by no means a finished project, and it may never be. Maybe one chapter is all I'll ever do. I'm still focusing on my other, more serious writing. (Damien yells in the background, "Yeah, that's what you said about MY series before you ran off to work on that MANITOU one!!")

:) Enjoy the beginning, at least.

Tehuti




CHAPTER 1
The Sound Of Silence!


"DO YOU KNOW what?" Pipsqueak asked. "It's just been WAY too quiet!"

The other dogs agreed. They were sitting outside in Lincoln Park, lounging around on the grass. It was too hot to do anything else. They were too tired even to make a lame "dog days" joke of it, and so all they could do was nod a bit at Pips's observation. Chernobyl Cat was the only one to lift his head, and he did so with a funny look on his face.

"Y'know, Ped, he's right. I only went on two adventure-thingies with you guys, but from what I gathered, that Purrsha lady was pretty insistent before. Hasn't it been ages since she's caused any kind of trouble? Do ya think she might be up to something, or just biding her time?"

Pedro sat up now and frowned. "You know, I never thought about it much until you mentioned it. I was hoping no news was good news!"

"Well, now that you guys just HAD to bring it up, of course something will happen," said Martika, who was reclining on a lawn chair with a reflector under her chin. As if ghosts needed tans.

Everybody looked at her. "What do you mean by that?" Pips asked.

She lifted her shades and gave him a frank look. "C'mon, I know you're not that stupid. Everybody knows how these stories work. Everything's going hunky-dory, somebody mentions the bad guy like, 'Gee, I wonder what What's-Her-Name is up to lately!', What's-Her-Name conveniently shows up, and everybody gets pulled into a wacky adventure that they have to solve before time is up, the end." [Note--comma misplaced outside single quote.]

Pips's face screwed up. "Are you reading the script or something??"

"She's got a point," Jazzy added. "We haven't talked about Purrsha in like ten years. Ever since we started on that adventure to save Egypt from destruction by Ra! Hey, what happened in that adventure, anyway? For some reason I can't remember how it ended." He glanced at Damien, who sat up and glared back.

"What're you looking at me for?" Damien snapped. "I can't help it that MY story was more interesting than YOUR story and that Tehuti decided to finish mine instead of yours!"

"But I wanted to know how it ended," Pips said in a disappointed voice.

"Oh, for God's sake," Martika said, putting her shades back on. "Get over it, it was starting out pretty lame anyway. I mean, fergoshsakes, she did not have to try to include every single Egyptian god in that story."

"I liked it," Pips pouted.

"Well that's all kinda null and void now, isn't it?" Choby said, standing up and waving his arms. This motion alone was enough to exhaust his resources and he sat down again, panting. "I mean, what if Tika's right? We brought up the P word. How long until she shows up and starts something with us?!"

Martika looked at her watch. "Shouldn't be long now."

"Oh man," Choby whined, covering his eyes. "I don't think I'm ready for this. Tehuti ALWAYS includes so many characters that I lose track of who's doing what!"

"Be grateful you weren't in Part One, señor," Pedro said. "That one was really tacky. Why for example does she make me call everybody 'señor'? Just because I'm Mexican doesn't mean..."

"I don't know, I think Part Four was arguably the worst," Fredestaire mused. "I had no bloody idea what was going on half the time I was in that story."

"Any time now," Martika said.

"Well, at the very least there's one tiny consolation," Damien offered. "This time I get to come along for the ride, and it won't be some half-assed effort like that Part Six was. My story ended up MUCH better written than yours. So maybe with me along, you guys have a small chance." He blinked. "Wait a minute, did I just swear--?"

"Going, going," Martika said.

"Get OVER yourself!" Fluffy snapped. "Maybe Tehuti never told you this, but personally? I HATE YOU!"

"Hey, bimbo!" Damien shot back. "If it wasn't for me I bet all you guys would've been killed by Satanists by now! How's that for fun?"

"Going," Martika said. Pips covered his head.

"I've got a bad feeling!!"

"Shouldn't we pack or something?" Fredestaire said. "Food? Sandwiches? Doritos? That strange American pie that comes in a little cardboard box?"

"Don't we need shots?" Amy asked. "HEY! How did I get in this story--??"

"Gone," Martika said. Everybody looked up just as a bright flash enveloped the park. True to Martika's prediction, they were on the start of a wonderful new adventure!

(Damien: "Oh, for God's sake. This one'll probably end up unfinished too, like most of MY stories! When is she going to work on them, huh? I mean, look at 'em all! All but three! UNFINISHED! What's a guy got to do to get some action around here--??")


More to come...?

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