I know good things
I know bad as well
Any witness of the world will tell
If there is sorrow
Then there is beauty and trust
A secret pearl inside the heart of us
So truly
If there's light then I wanna see it
Now that I know what I am looking for
Truly
If there's joy then I wanna feel it
Here in this world is where I wanna be
'Cause I can't cry anymore
There is magic now
Under blood-red trees
All the sky will scream a mystery
If we're strangers here
From the day we are born
Why be afraid of freedom if it's yours?
So truly
If there's light then I wanna see it
Now that I know what I am looking for
Truly
If there's joy then I wanna feel it
Here in this world is where I wanna be
'Cause I can't cry anymore
All the world is calling, calling out my name
All the world is saying it won't be the same
All the sky is showing how it's gonna be
But I'm scared and I'm tired of being like me!
So truly
If there's light then I wanna see it
Now that I know what I am looking for
Truly
If there's joy then I wanna feel it
Here in this world is where I wanna be
'Cause I can't cry anymore
'Cause I can't cry anymore
"Truly"
Delerium Featuring Nerina Pallot
©2003 Chrysalis Music/Nettwerk Songs Publishing/Povi-Lu Music
All rights reserved
On Edge
SOMETHING FLASHED. HIS eyes opened slowly, as he had no need to do anything with great haste. He lifted his head and stared seemingly off into space for a good long while before getting to his feet.
The little girl in the pile of furs lifted her own head as soon as she saw his movement, her large eyes wide and dark in the dim cave. She followed his motions as he walked across the room and stopped to stare at the wall itself. She frowned a little, then started peering around herself cautiously.
There was nothing in this cave, save the two of them, and the pile of furs she sat upon now. She crept down from them silently, always keeping her eye on him. He didn't turn his head or even twitch a muscle. She tiptoed toward the opening at the other side of the cave, even biting her lip lest it tremble too loudly. She moved as quietly as a rabbit, as slowly as a turtle, edging along the wall when she reached it and letting her fingers slide toward the tunnel.
"I suggest you stay in this room, unless you wish to lose those prematurely," he said, and she jumped and squeaked, his voice was so unexpected. She blinked several times and stared at his back in confusion; he still hadn't moved.
"How..." She blinked a few more times. "How did you know I was trying to run away--?"
Megissogwun continued staring at the cave wall. "Your father should have taught you to use your head, halfling. Manitous can do more than you seem to think." He finally turned to look at her over his shoulder, and she shrank in on herself and started edging meekly back toward the furs. "If you want to do something," he said in the same dull deep voice he always used, "then come and look at this with me."
Turtle blinked, bit her lip, then walked hesitantly toward him. She came to a stop a little bit off to his side and peered at the wall. She looked at him from the corner of her eye, then back at the stone.
"So...what're we looking at?" she asked, after a moment spent thus.
"Concentrate," Megissogwun said, his arms crossed over his breast. "And see for yourself."
Turtle frowned but stood on tiptoe and glared at the wall as hard as she could. For a long time all she saw was stone. He could sense her frustration, and her desire to start asking all sorts of questions, but somehow she refrained. He glanced down at her and all his feathers rustled when he did so.
"Are you truly so little manitou that you can't see things?" he said, with a twinge of irritation which didn't manifest itself in his voice. He waved a hand at the wall, and she took in a breath when an image appeared.
"Manitou Island!" She ran right up to the wall and placed her little hands against it, hopping up and down with glee. "There it is! I knew it'd be safe!"
"This is not the Island you know," Megissogwun said, and waved his hand again. Turtle's smile shifted into a look of growing confusion as the images started to change. Here was Sugar Loaf...but it was uninhabited. Here was the East Bluff...but there were no camps. Here was the little town on the south shore...but there was nothing there but grass and sand. The images kept coming, and the only signs of life that Turtle saw were manitous, a Wendigo or two, and wild animals.
"Where..." Her brow furrowed even further. "Where is everybody?"
"This is long before you existed," Megissogwun said, and waved at the image. Immediately everything was swallowed by great gushing gouts of water which surged in from the lake and poured down from the sky. Turtle gasped and scuttled back like a crab. Megissogwun watched blandly as the Island was pummeled from all sides, hunks of earth falling away, limestone cracking, the trees falling and the great mound of the Turtle's Back slowly vanishing from sight beneath the churning waves. Within moments, all that was left was a bit of debris--blades of grass, bits of tree and wood--bobbing on the water. Megissogwun waved once more, and the image vanished.
Turtle's eyes goggled. Immediately she was on her feet again, kicking and hitting the back of his leg. "Meanie! You're NOT going to do that again!" she yelled.
"If your father does not complete his mission," Megissogwun said, "then I certainly will. Have you any clue how long it has been, child, or what exactly your father has been doing while you wait here with me?" She stopped hitting and kicking, but began gnawing on her lip anew, taking a step back as he stared down at her. She was so insignificant that he didn't even honor her with a scowl. "They have been out there for over a week," he said, "and your father has spent time chatting with manitous, and forest people, and stoneling people, and Animiki. It seems that you are very little on his mind."
Turtle's lip stuck out. "NOT TRUE!"
"True," Megissogwun replied. "I've watched it all here myself." He turned back to the cave wall and waved. The image of the lake rippling under the pelting rain faded, and now Turtle slowly leaned forward, staring in curiosity at the strange form that she saw now. The wall had gone black, but in the midst of it was a red bird. A red...swan?
Megissogwun saw it as well, and blinked--for the first time in a long time. A bit more of a frown started to come to his face; he waved at the image, and it began to come closer. After a moment or so it became apparent that the bird was no longer a bird but a--human?--with wings?--when it lifted its head, and its eyes met his, and Megissogwun's own widened when they fixed on the color sapphire blue--
Turtle let out a tiny squeak of a gasp and plunged down into the pile of furs when Megissogwun's fist met the rock, cracking it open. He drew his fist back, his lip curled in a snarl, and took a breath before the fit passed over him and he let it out, slowly lowering his hand and looking at the broken wall. It was a long time before he did anything else.
"You had better wish you are not who you look like, Swan," he said nearly in a mutter. "And he had better have a damned good reason for hiding you from me."
He shut his eyes and tried finding her.
Chakenapok's eyes shot open and he stared at the rippling water of the underground lake. Then his head jerked up and he stared off into space.
Something--?
Someone--after--
His mouth fell open when he could have sworn that something else had just joined him, and was now attempting to find out all it could about where he was and what he was doing and--
He clenched his fists and ground his teeth together. Memories of the Wolf, Malsum, came flooding back to him--how he had granted him so much power, but held him a virtual prisoner at the same time--a prisoner in his own body, nothing more than a Shell. Whatever this was--it felt an awful lot like that.
But Malsum had been imprisoned by Glooskap long ago--
A twinge of anger stirred in his breast, and his spirit stone accordingly flared brilliant orange-red. Whatever it was prodded at him one last time before withdrawing...and he let out his breath in a gust, blinking his eyes open in the sudden stillness. Whatever it was was drawing away.
His relaxing muscles tensed again. He felt it traveling along the connection he now carried to the strange manitou woman in red--!
For the briefest second, he considered just letting it go that way. She was his connection to the mainlander, but the mainlander could do without him. And by now he was beyond certain that she was hiding something from them--
The presence faded further and further away from him. Chakenapok stared at the lake with nearly a scowl, then let out his breath again, and relaxed.
The Red Swan's head shot up and she found herself staring at the cave ceiling--which was not really there--but it was the simplest thing her mind could conjure to dispel the atmosphere of this place. Something--what?--seemed to ripple, or shimmer, or--something--up there. She slowly got to her feet and stared upwards silently, her fingers flexing and her heart fluttering in her breast. Something about whatever it had been felt...familiar...somehow.
And frightening.
And then, just like that, it was gone. She found herself staring at nothing but imaginary stone. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out what had just happened--whatever that had been, not only had she not been powerful enough to drive it away, but she hadn't even tried. So what...
She felt another presence then, and jumped and shivered, whirling around and still seeing nothing.
Whatever that was, you'd better hope it has no connection to you.
The Red Swan let out her breath and rubbed her arms. "I'm hiding nothing from you, Flint," she murmured.
She could almost sense him scowling at her. You had better not, because if you do, you know who will be the first to find out, the voice said, and this presence faded as well. I only tolerate you because of the mainlander, it said as it drifted away from her. Feel lucky that you have her trust, no matter how undeserved...
She continued rubbing her arms, waiting until he was gone. I could easily say the same of you, she thought, and imagined the cave walls fading away as well, just to rid herself of the atmosphere.
Charmian let out a sneeze.
"Gezunda-height," Marten said, dangling boredly from Mani's antler as they all paced along the damp dark tunnel.
Charmian rubbed her arms and let out a miserable sigh. By now, her muscles ached, and her head ached, and her joints ached, and she wondered if she was getting arthritis. She should've known that the Weavers' tunnel would be so damp and clammy...but it wasn't as if they had a hundred choices. She glanced up at the giant spider trundling along ahead of them, occasionally waving a leg or checking the tunnel walls without even missing a step. She guessed it was hard to miss a step, when you had eight legs to step on.
Stick-In-The-Dirt walked beside her, still poring over his little journal. She peered into it from time to time, as he didn't seem to mind; he even pointed at the drawings he'd made and explained a few things now and then, even though they didn't make much sense to her. "This is Megis, who came from the east," he said. "And traveled far west over the great water...here is Grandmother Cedar, who purifies the lodge...and over here is Bear, who traveled far and wide to bring what he knows..."
"Uh-huh," Charmian said after every comment, feeling rather stupid, as if she should know what he was talking about. Stick-In-The-Dirt seemed far too enthusiastic to notice; she supposed it was good that he was happy for once, as he always seemed so gloomy and sad. When he noticed Winter Born at his other side, he promptly leaned toward her and started pointing out things in the journal, and she seemed to listen with much more interest than Charmian had. Charmian let out a small breath of relief.
"You are aware," Moon Wolf murmured from off to her other side, "that one is not normally taught such things unless they are a Mide in training."
Charmian blinked and looked at him. "Mide--?" She frowned. "I'm not a Mide. I never followed through with the initiation. As if I deserved it, anyway; I'm not even one of Stick's people."
Moon Wolf gave her a look. "Then why is he teaching you Midewiwin?"
Charmian's face went brilliant red. "He's--he's telling HER about it, too!" she hissed under her breath, pointing at Winter Born.
Moon Wolf looked ceilingward and sighed. "Winter Born has repeatedly made it clear that she intends to enter the Midewiwin and go through all the grades! Her mother's already been teaching her what she knows. Do you get it now?"
Charmian nearly felt her eyes fall out of her head. "Oh--shut up!" she snapped, whirling away from him and taking two large steps back so that she bumped into Thomas, who jumped aside. She flushed and huddled in her vest, wishing that she at least had a jacket to stave off the chill. How deep underground were they, anyway--?
"Sorry I can't exactly warm you up," Thomas said, and that made her blush so much that he started laughing. "YOU thought it, not me."
"You shut up, too!!" Charmian groused, digging her hands in her pockets just to give them something to do. Fortunately, Stick-In-The-Dirt was still busy talking with Winter Born, and the Weaver--Asabikeshiiquae, the medicine man had decided to call her--continued trundling ahead of them, as oblivious as ever, letting out a click or a clack every so often. She sighed miserably and brushed a damp hair out of her face with another scowl. "I thought this was supposed to take an hour!"
"An hour or so," Thomas corrected her. "And perhaps giant spiders have a different reckoning of time."
"I should really have a book just so I can keep track of the stupid things we say whenever we're traveling," Charmian grumbled, and lifted her hand, flames suddenly shooting from her fingers. She tried warming herself with it while the others stared at her as if she were quite odd. "Sheesh...you think it'd at least warm me up or something..."
"I wonder how X'aaru and Mishu are doing," Kenu said in a small voice. They glanced back at him; Mani had offered him a ride on his back, and even Thomas had offered to carry him on his shoulders, yet the little Thunderbird had refused; he'd insisted on walking the entire way, though now that they looked at him more closely they could see how miserable he looked, sniffling and limping a little as if his feet hurt. Charmian felt sorry for him; his moccasins looked more like they were made for show, than for work.
"I'm sure they're fine," Charmian said. "You're sure you don't want a ride?" she ventured. "Mani's got room..."
Kenu's head shot up and he scowled at her so fiercely that she would have laughed at any other time, the expression was so funny on a little child's face. "Just mind your own business! The mighty Kenu HARDLY needs a ride!" And as if to prove his point, he stomped ahead of them, feathers flaring--at least, as much as they could in this damp air--and even nudged one of the Weaver's legs aside as he went. The giant recluse glanced at him, glanced back at the others, then seemed to shrug and kept trundling along.
"The mighty Kenu is getting mighty annoying," Charmian said under her breath.
"Maybe the mighty Kenu has a mighty headache," Marten suggested.
"The mighty Kenu needs a mighty smack upside the head," Augwak muttered, himself looking rather pathetic as he skulked along.
"I am not one to complain," Niskigwun said, and Charmian looked back at him to see just how limp and bedraggled his headdress of multicolored feathers was looking, "but I do hope that this 'hour or so' is over with soon." A handful of feathers fell in his face, and he sputtered a bit before simply picking them up in his fingers and brushing them aside, the weariest and most peeved look imaginable on his face. Peepaukawiss, beside him and also covered with sopping feathers, started cackling at his gloomy state, at least until Manabozho smacked him in the back of the head. Everybody in their immediate area promptly spat and shook their heads when beads of water splattered against them unexpectedly; Manabozho stood blinking in surprise, his hand dripping wet, and Puka started screeching with laughter again. Then he let out a yelp and collapsed as the others kept walking.
A moment later Charmian felt something brush past her leg and glanced down to see Pakwa ambling by. "Getting annoying," he said, simply, and she made sure to toss him a candy bar as he passed.
"Well," she said to Thomas, "at least nobody's murdering anybody, which I guess is an improvement. I hate to think what it would be like if Mudjikawiss were here."
Thomas rolled his eyes. "You do know that whenever you say things could be worse, things just get worse--?"
"Oh--SHUT UP!" Charmian snapped again. "You don't always have to be such a SMARTASS, you know!"
"Well, you don't have to jinx things all the time!"
"As if I believe in JINXES! I suppose you think I should talk with my fingers crossed all the time too--?"
"Maybe you should just not TALK!"
The two of them promptly halted and stared fuming at each other. "Oh, knock it all off!" Augwak snarled, making his way between them and shoving at their legs so they both stumbled backwards into the others. "If the two of you must act like BABIES then maybe you should stay BEHIND!"
Thomas and Charmian glared at his back, then at the others as they passed; Mani looked at them briefly, then he and Marten just stuck up their noses and kept going. The other two's anger faded and they both let out their breath in disbelief, then started fuming again.
"The nerve!" Thomas grumbled.
"Just leaving us behind like that!" Charmian huffed. They both started walking again, scowling. "See if I ever do anything nice for any of you again!"
"I think this tunnel is getting to us," Thomas sighed, rubbing at his eyes. She glanced up at him, then bit her lip and lowered her head a little. She fiddled her fingers.
"Sorry I yelled..."
"No, I'm sorry I told you to stop talking...God knows that's the last thing YOU want to hear..."
She shoved him so he bumped into the tunnel wall, but other than that decided to let it pass. "Is it just me," she said a bit more quietly, "or is everybody acting a bit out of character lately...?"
He frowned at her. "How do you mean?"
"Well..." She rubbed her head. "Not quite everybody...but I'm really wondering about Augwak." She looked up at him. "Did you spot him anywhere when we were back along that riverbranch with the tree? And that big manitou--?"
His frown grew a bit, then he shrugged. "Not really...I wasn't paying much attention to where everybody was, I admit. Why?"
"Well..." She gnawed on her lip. "I don't know...it's just that something attacked that manitou, this blast of wind, but it wasn't from you, and it wasn't from Pakwa, and I have no clue where it came from. And the same thing happened back when Kenu tried to attack Mishupishu that one time. Puka and 'Bozho didn't seem to do it--and when I looked behind everybody, I saw Augwak looking all winded...no pun intended."
Thomas's brow furrowed. "You mean to say you think that GeeBee has been carrying his weight all this time--?" He snorted. "You do realize how ridiculous that sounds...?"
"Yeah..." Charmian frowned a little. "I have to admit it sounds stupid. He's only the one who's been bitching the LOUDEST this entire time!"
"I HATE THIS TUNNEL!!" Kenu yelled at the top of his lungs just then, making them jump. They slowed down as he turned to the righthand wall and started kicking it with his foot, scowling. "It's far too long to make an Animiki walk! Underground, like VERMIN! All soaked through and sopping and BLECH!"
"I guess his vocabulary's finally running low," Thomas whispered.
The Weaver halted in her tracks and waved a leg as if trying to get his attention, but he ignored her. "Stupid stupid STUPID TUNNEL!" he shouted, aiming a barrage of kicks at the damp earth. "How long must a noble Animiki be forced to trudge in such a lowly manner? Like a worm!" His face screwed up. "I, KENU, AM HARDLY A WORM!!"
"THAT'S RIGHT! A WORM WOULDN'T BE HALF AS NOISY AS YOU!!" Augwak screamed in return.
The Weaver began waving her legs again. Stick-In-The-Dirt and Winter Born both stared at her, then turned to Charmian as if she were the leader, making her jump when they both exclaimed, "He shouldn't be yelling--!"
"Why not--?" Charmian started to say, then blinked and grimaced when the ground shook. Everyone stumbled and nearly fell; she had to grab onto Thomas's arm to keep her balance, and glanced over at the Thunderbird. He was now stomping his foot against the ground, and each time he did, a boom of thunder echoed throughout the tunnel; not very loud thunder, but thunder nonetheless.
Charmian next looked at the Weaver and saw how frantically she waved her legs. She actually started turning in confused circles, like the frightened Weavers had the first time that Charmian had seen them.
"I have a really bad feeling!" Winter Born said, wringing her hands.
"Why--?" Thomas helped Charmian stand straight. "He's just throwing a tantrum. Why not douse him with a little bit of water, or something--"
Mani bristled and whistled. Think that might happen sooner than thought!!
"Wha--?" Charmian managed to get out, before Kenu lifted his foot, and lowered it, and a BOOM shuddered throughout the tunnel, its side splitting open and sending in a burst of splattering water.
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